Outdoor Bunnies

Andrea, Jess, and I made to the top. We were the only all-woman team we saw on that day!

On August 29, 2007, I was on top of Grand Teton, guided. On Sep 6, 2009, I was on top of Grand Teton, guiding. Grand Teton was still that Grand Teton, and I was still that girl always wanting to climb mountains. But, something was different. In fact, many things were different.

Two years ago, I had just stepped in the world of traditional climbing. How to climb an alpine rock route was unknown to me but I was eager to learn, to practice, to explore, and to get higher. Nonetheless being a guided client, my mood was relaxed. I took my time and I followed the footsteps. During the climb, the guides half seriously half jokingly commented, “You should quit guide trips,” after I easily followed up the 5.8 Pownall-Gilkey pitch. “I am on my way there,” I responded quietly in mind. I wanted to be a leader, because the leader’s view is different, and because a leader is a leader. I was content to be a follower then though - I paid attention to the surroundings and appreciated the summit view and vowed to come back and climb more rocks in the vincinity. Pleasant, pleasant memory it was.

This is our high camp. Jess loves her one-person tent protected from the wind by rocks.

A few days after that climb, I did my first lead. Since then, I have climbed much and learned much about climbing because I wanted to. I knew in order to get something, I needed to want it, really want it. During my early development of rock climbing skills, I had promised two friends at different occasions to bring them up to Grand Teton. Andrea, a Jackson resident, wanted to climb Grand because it is there. Jess, my co-instructor at a camp for adjudicated youth, somehow had Grand Teton as one of her dreams.

This Labor Day weekend was when we three could all get together and tackle the objective. The weather did not look encouraging - high chance of early thunderstorms for each day we planned to be out there. We went back and forth on Owen-Spaulding route or the Upper Exum route. Due to weather restrictions, we set our mind to do the O-S route because it is easy to bail on this route. Besides, even though Andrea and Jess are active and accomplished outdoor athletes, they are not climbers. It’s much better for non-climbers to start with something less technical.

Alpine start. The weather didn't look too promising.

The approach hike was steep and more tiring than I remembered, perhaps because this time I had to carry camping gear and climbing gear while two years ago I only carried a day pack. Luckily on summit day, it was not as cold as I expected. We could certainly use some heat and sunshine but all we got were occasional showers and sleet. I was very focused on route finding, pulling out topo now and then wanting to find all the features mentioned in the route description. I stopped at places to assist my friends to have a clear and safe passage if I second guessed whether the paths might be either physically or mental challenging. I considered to set up rope and protection, if it would ease up my friends‘ travel. I wanted to make sure they were safe and well. If the weather permitted, I wanted to take them to the top and back to the base camp. That was the only thing I cared about, at least at the moment.

Some route finding when descending. I was pointing the way for a safe descent.

We got to the top; the sun generously gave us a few minutes of congratulation. Friends took a few summit shots and I asked “Ready to go?” Scrambling, two rappels, and more scrambling. I set up everything, gave my friends fire-fighter belays for their rappels, and exhorted them not to kick off loose rocks. Again, I stopped at places where I thought the path became a bit funky and we were back to the base camp uneventfully.

My friends looked tired but happy. I asked them how the climb went, and whether they felt safe during the climb. I got positive responses and I had this feeling that my job was done. Yes, it was kind of like a job. This was not my first time guiding, but the fact that I have played two different roles on the same objective had stimulated much thought. I did not take a 360 view appreciation this time; all I wanted was to get my friends down. Does this job thing make me lose the passion towards climbing? The answer is an absolute “no.” Then what? I was not quite sure. During the dinner we had after we got back to the base camp, I didn’t talk much. The only point I raised was that I was proud that we were the only all-woman team. We saw two other girls during our climb - one climbed with her dad and the other one climbed with three other males. I am also not quite sure why an all-woman team is special but it just is.

I was pondering. I am wondering what I was thinking.

We got back in town, and Andrea and Jess both described the climb to their significant others excitedly. They mentioned many moments; new experience, exciting experience, terrified experience and all that. They had much to say, and much to share. I looked at them, listened to them, and realized that they had fun. They got to where they always wanted to go and they had tremendous amount of fun. And something struck me. I have done my job well. Pride crept in and great satisfaction overwhelmingly flooded me. I love climbing. Being able to climb takes me to places I long for. Being able to guide takes people to places they long for. Both make me happy. It is just a question of sooner or later.

Women, wilderness, and writing.  Yes, I am here because I love being a woman, I love playing in the wilderness, and I love writing.  Truly, sincerely, and passionately.

Throughout the path towards being a comfortable outdoor woman, as I am now, I have been inspired by many others.  They were not world-recognized female athletes; they were just them, being out there and enjoying themselves.  And therefore I knew I could if I wanted to.  Women inspire women and women empower women.  It seems that this statement is even truer when it is put in the wilderness setting.  I do not know whether it is because women tend to be a minority in the outdoors, but I do know women relate to women naturally and easily, interestingly and differently.

I have had many moments with the outdoors.  Rewarding views after hours or even days of hard labor; accidental animal encounters; stunning scenery of seasonal changes; connection with the inner energy of seemingly inactive plants, rocks or even soil.  The engagement between me and nature often makes me realize how small and how great I am.  As an existence, I am no different than soil, rocks, trees, insects and yet I am so unique in every way.

I knew that I was destined to walk toward the outdoors, it was an instinct, ever since I spent my early childhood years in a village in southern Taiwan, which was surrounded by not-yet over-polished rural fields and mountains.  However, the path to the outdoors wasnʼt that straight-forward.  When I was about four or five, my parents moved to a big city, Taipei, to give their kids better education opportunities.  In the competitive environment of Asian school systems (and Taipei is not an exception) sports, art, and music classes are often sacrificed in exchange for math, science and language classes.  I only knew how to get to my school, the library, and home when I was in high school.  But donʼt get me wrong, I was happy and content back then.

Things started to stir up a bit after I entered college.  I didnʼt choose my favorite subject, Chinese literature, as a major.  I didnʼt choose my momʼs favorite, medical school, either.  I chose to study computer science and ended up being in this field for over a decade.  I like math and science, I like solving problems, I like being analytical, I like technology, and I like computers, but somehow I love something else.  My childhood dream - to travel and write - couldnʼt stay as a seed in my heart anymore.  I needed to go out and explore.  Being in college I had more freedom than in high school, and therefore I visited many towns in Taiwan and travelled in various foreign countries.  However, I still hadnʼt explored any outdoor activity because it is dangerous and not girly in my momʼs eyes.

In summer 2003, I finally did my first backpacking trip.  It was horrible.  Pouring rain, mosquitoes, not being used to pack weight, wrong shoes which gave me giant blisters — everything was wrong except for the dry sleeping bag at night.  It took me another couple trips to fix all the novice mistakes, and I started to participate in short workshops offered by my outdoor club, Appalachian Mountain Club, and finally became a full- fledged backpacking leader and started to lead trips.

When it was time for me to learn how to climb, I decided that I needed to learn it in a systematic way.  Therefore I registered for a NOLS course in 2006 in Alaska, which was my first mountaineering experience.  That year, I was just over 30.  My classmates were much younger than me, and most of them were male.  I had never thought I would feel awkward, not even just be a tiny bit.  Iʼve always been a minority ever since I entered an engineering school and often times I even enjoy being a minority.  But this time, I was a minority both in gender and age and was in a totally unfamiliar environment.  Gladly, one of the instructors was a female.  She was there for only a week as a substitute course leader before the appointed one could come in, who was a male.  She didnʼt treat any female students specially; she was just there.  I saw her carry heavy loads and hike and climb at ease, even though she is a very small lady.  And I knew I could get comfortable if I wanted to, and I did.

After that trip, I officially started my climbing career.  As a woman in the climbing community, most of the time, Iʼm made aware and reminded that I am a minority.  I do not feel awkward anymore but I am always excited when I meet or see another woman climber, so I want to see more of them.

Once I had a conversation with my female outdoor friend; she is a very competent backpacking trip leader who is also in her 30ʼs.  She mentioned this interesting observation that women who participate in her extended backpacking trips are often young or over 50.  She linked this observation to the hypothesis that women come out much less after they start to raise kids.  I am not a social scientist to verify this hypothesis, but I suspect that if I will have kids, my current lifestyle needs a drastic adjustment and I am not sure whether I will feel torn.  It seems that according to conventional social values there is always a conflict between family responsibilities and outdoor career pursuit for women.  I think much about how they can be compatible and I want to know how other outdoor women look at this.

And this is basically why I established Outdoor Bunnies and devote myself as a contributor.  I want to do more than just being out there and enjoying what I do with nature; I want to create conversations with people who have different perspectives on issues.  Writing is a good vessel for me.  I love writing because it allows me to transform all my outdoor-inspired reflections into rational and understandable paragraphs to share with others.  This way, I can make friends with more outdoor women and encourage more to join us; this way, I have channels to inspire them and be inspired.  It is easy and fun to enjoy the outdoors; outdoor endeavors can be hardcore and can be lighthearted.  It is always fun to share growth, joy, or even nonsense with friends.  I sincerely hope that Outdoor Bunnies provides a safe and carefree community for all these things.